CHAPTER 09

FROM THE Academy of Truth, Zeno Corporation--Selected items from the Report by the Problem Description Squad--

1. We have walked down the pathways of the Skull Garden, running scans on the sacred artefacts as they appear--We have interviewed the gardeners as they tend the dreams of the Founder--We have witnessed the dream creatures, all the sweet desirable phantazeens playing there. All is good.

2. We have stood before the viewing panels that bring pictures from Degree Zero. We have spoken to the Thermostat Kid--the Founder lies suspended within the chambers of ice--and all of our most beautiful instruments attend his sleep--

3. The Dream Channel remains open--the one million invisible wires feeding upwards into the roots of the Skull Garden planet. The globe floats serenely within the Founder's head. All is good. The Founder creates the world, even in sleep--

4. We have followed the Collecting Officer into the dream world, passing through the vapour gate to the bower where the Sparkle Horse is tethered--For our education, he turned the metal tap that protrudes from the horse's neck, extracting the Morpheus Juice--We have seen the precious teardrops of fluid in the sealed vial--

5. Morpheus Juice is the chief component of the latest Charisma drug, with its seven variations—Effective duration now extended from one day to one hundred years, or full extent of User's life, whichever is the shorter. See attached report on the Chemical Fantasy project.

6. We have visited the Black Lab and spoken with the Chief Orchestrator. Doctor Cage showed us the test results of Charismaximus on both animal and human subjects--Rogue Data--Cage has demonstrated the malign side-effects.

7. Specific detail pertaining to Lady Diana Spencer variation--see attached vomit, blood and urine samples.

8. The Problem Squad agrees entirely with the Doctor. The Charismaximus launch should be postponed--Gentlemen, Ladies, we cannot allow the Morpheus Juice to penetrate the market place in such a strong concentration. It would do the Zeno brand identity untold harm--

9. True nature of the Problem. Operatives report that one complete set of the Charismaximus product line has been stolen--Perpetrator unknown. We believe these fantasies have now made their way to the downWorld.

10. Scenario by the Scenario Mistress--Proposal--that the perpetrator stole into the Skull Garden at night, breaking the security vapours on the inner zone--that the perpetrator tapped the Sparkle Horse--that the perpetrator smuggled the Morpheus Juice from the garden, under cover of darkness.

11. Parallel narrative--limited edition phantazeen product line, My Little Scorpion, went missing from the Skull Garden the same day as the Juice was stolen--seven creatures in total--they are the perfect carriers.

12. We are reminded that Zeeny creatures are characters who have no Reality Engines--merchandise of the id--they can only be sold through licensed dealers.

13. Concurrent Action--a Deathsquad Operative has been sent downward to retrieve all illicit Morpheus. Operative codename: Aura. Operative under the personal control of Doctor Cage, via use of the Mesmeric Implant--

14. Primary Desires: Identify Perpetrator--Exterminate all Leakage Zones!

15. Agent's special licence--Permission granted to deal death to the dealers!

16. Collateral directive--Erase all pirated Image Hosts.

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